haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
