when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize