Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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