college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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