I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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