A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
