Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
