I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
