well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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