She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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