my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
