A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
