You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
