im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
