i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
