Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize