i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
