i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
