If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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