you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
