Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
