I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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