let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
