So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
