people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize