it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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