he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
