so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I CAN MOONWALK!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize