WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize