Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
