i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
that's an acceptable place to lick
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
