I'm eating all of the evidence.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
