i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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