he wants to bone in the snuggie
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
