Jerry, you need to find god
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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