the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
