I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
