Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
