we have pet lesbian snakes
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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