i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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