Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
