Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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