every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You ruined the universe
Randomize