It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
