I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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