some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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