By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
