He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
