we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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