you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
