vagina is talking i cant
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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