It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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