i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
