I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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