My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
