it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
