at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
