she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
