the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
