Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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