Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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